


Dead for a Day

by Memento_viviere



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Comforting Nico, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Lawyer Nico, M/M, Nico Di Angelo/Percy Jackson - Freeform, Percy Jackson has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sad Percy Jackson, Soft Feels, inspired by unus annus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27578090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memento_viviere/pseuds/Memento_viviere
Summary: Percy is having a hard time moving on from Tartarus and two wars so Nico takes a sick day from work to stays home and comfort him.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Dead for a Day

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to everyone who left comments on my previous fic!!!! I never expected to get as many positive comments as I did. I cannot express how much it means to me, thank you to everyone who gave me kudos or even just clicked on the story. This is my second attempt at writing fanfic, I hope you like it. That is all I want from this world: to make art (in any form) that makes people feel something. Even if it entertains you for a couple minutes or lets you escape from reality for a little while. That is all I could ever hope to accomplish- giving art out to the world for people to experience.  
> All comments/ criticism is deeply appreciated.   
> Thank you!

“Can I just be dead for today?”

I’m so tired. I don’t wanna be a person today. The numbing silence was so much more comforting. As much as I hated that empty void that swallows me whole, it’s so inviting and bittersweet.

It’s so easy to slip down under and let the waves wash over my head. Let my eyes close as the pressure hugged me tightly. Let the roaring waters slowly fade away as I slip away from consciousness.

I just wanted to fade. To softly drift away from it all- all the pain, the memories, the insomnia, the nightmares, the scars- let them all fade and take me with it. It just hurts too much. I can’t bare it.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t want to be here.

I don’t want to _be_ anymore.

It just hurts too much. I can’t bare it.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I don’t want to live like this.

I don’t want to _li_ -

Sudden warmth shocked me out of my spiraling thoughts. I didn’t realize tears were streaming down my cheeks until a soft hand appeared to brush them away. I wasn’t aware of my own unsteady breathing until the bed dipped next to me. Warm, comforting arms wrapped around me as his soft shushing and gentle words caressed my aching heart. Unable to resist, I broke down.

Sobs escaped from my chest as my tired body completely collapsed against him. Desperately, I held on him. Frantic for him to chase all my dark swirling thoughts away. I clung on to him as if he were my only source of clean air in a suffocating world of deadly fumes.

He held me just as tightly while whispering to me sweetly. I let his embrace calm my shaking body while he pressed gentle kisses into my skin. The soothing feeling of his warm lips against my neck and collar bone slowly grounded me back to reality.

“yeah…we can just be dead today, Tesoro” he said softly. I turned in his embrace to face him while he gently laid us both back down on the bed. As I looked up at him, I saw a sad but endearing smile on his lips.

Too exhausted after my emotional out poor, I just tucked myself further into his embrace. He lazily played with my hair, content to just hold me in silence while I closed my tired eyes and bathed in his loving embrace.

We had an understanding. ‘Dead for today’ was just a little inside joke based off Nico’s godly heritage. It didn’t mean ‘I want to be dead _forever_ ’, just ‘dead for _today_ ’. It meant just a temporary break from life and all its’ stress. It meant a day to just pretend all life outside of their cozy apartment didn’t exist. A day to just be dead to the rest of the world. They didn’t always take a dead day together because of their busy schedules but when they could, the day was always much sweeter. Luckily, Nico just wrapped up a big case and could afford to take a day off. Since it was partly _his_ law firm, he was able to be a little more flexible with his schedule, (it’s not like his employees would ever dare to tell him otherwise).

* * *

I spent a couple moments to just bask in comfort. I had woken up from the best sleep I've had in months to the soothing feeling of Nico gently tracing patterns along my back with his figure tips. I kept my eyes closed a little longer to just relish in the feeling. I shifted a little closer and nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck to further enjoy my makeshift son of hades pillow. He must have realized I had woken up because he started teasingly stroking the small of my lower back, (where my old mortal point used to be), and planting little kisses all over my head.

"Amore" he started, "I have to get up soon". 

"Noooo" I whined good naturedly while clinging to him even tighter. He chuckled into my hair and kissed my temple apologetically, "you haven't had anything to eat today, let me cook us some brunch". The offer of Nico's cooking was too good to pass up, I humbled a fine and let him slip from my tired grasp. As he moved to get up, I quickly pulled him back down for another kiss, he indulged me for a second or two before finally pulling away.

"little brat" he chastised me lovingly, "behave". I had to bite my lip to suppress a moan. Nico's morning voice was sinful and from the smirk on his lips, he knew exactly what it was doing to me. I watched him pull on some black sweatpants before moving to the kitchen. I laid back down and closed my eyes for a couple seconds to enjoy the sweet stillness of our apartment. There was a pleasant calmness and safety in afternoons like this. Nothing could get to us in our own little isolated corner of the world. I skipped the pants and just pulled on Nico's dress shirt from the day before just to tease him a little before getting up to go join Nico in the kitchen. 

He acknowledged me with a quick peck to my temple as I made coffee for the both of us. Nico started to get to work preparing the food. I sat on the counter and watched him work while we exchanged pleasant conversation. I filled him in on all the gossip in New Rome that he missed while at work in the mortal world. I eventually got banished to watch from the couch after Nico realized I was stealing little bites of food whenever he wasn't looking. 

"Don't make me punish you" he jested at me with dark eyes. "Why not?" I asked looking as innocently as possible. He turned back to his cooking with a small snort, failing to suppress his amused simile while gently shaking his head. "Brat" he muttered again under his lips trying to focus back on the task at hand. 

I bite back a retort in favor of just watching Nico gracefully move around the kitchen as he cooked. When we first got together, I used to tease Nico mercilessly whenever I caught him just sitting in silence staring at me. I didn't understand back then what could possibly be holding his gaze that long, just watching someone do a trivial task unaware that they were being observed. I didn't quite understand back then. I knew I loved Nico but I hadn't fully wrapped my head around the concept that he loved me too. I could not comprehend that someone would ever feel for me the same way I feel for Nico. Slowly, Nico helped me understand.

Slowly, he embraced every nightmare and kissed every scar. Slowly he held me in the darkness when I lost my grip on the light. Slowly, he loved me- even when I felt unlovable- he loved me. Whenever I felt useless, worthless, or broken, he held me tightly and kissed me softly. Slowly, he loved me. He stayed through all my emotional break downs, panic attacks, and nightmares. Slowly, he loved me and never missed a moment to tell me so. Slowly, I understood. He loved me. 

He loves me. I remember the moment that one phrase finally sunk into my thick skull. He loves me. I could do nothing to stop the tears from flowing down my face as I held on to him tightly. He loves me. The mantra repeated in my head as I finally realized the weight of its' words. I finally realized they were true. He loves me. I finally understood why Nico could seemingly spend hours just silently enjoying my presence, aware of his loving gaze. He loves me. 

Something happens when you realize your love is returned-when your love is truly shared. Don't get me wrong, I loved Nico well before I even knew he didn't hate me. I just didn't fully comprehend all that love was. I never knew how deeply love could enshroud you. How tightly love could ensnare your senses until all that you are, when you are together, is love itself. Every look, every touch, every movement was love. You aren't truly in love until you realize you are loved. There's something holding you back.

The cold breath of cynicism whispers in your ear that he doesn't really mean the sweet words he says. Your brain's own cruel thoughts undoing all the love he gives to you. Your own insecurities form a wall preventing you from truly receiving all the kindness offered. It prevents you from returning that same care and devotion back. It prevents you from loving with all that you are because you are afraid they won't love all of you. But they do. They love you. You are loved. It's impossible to trust but worth it to do so. You are only able to love completely when you trust that that love will be returned. 

I understand now. I am loved. It's a phrase I marvel at everyday. It never loses its' shine. I can't help but just take a moment to gaze at Nico lovingly every chance I get now. I'm speechless as I watch the man who loves me busy himself around the kitchen.

I can bare it. 

I can bare any pain, because Nico will always be there to hold me tightly when I lose my grip. He'll always be there to keep my head above water and stop me from drowning in hopelessness. He'll be there to kiss me sweetly when bitter memories come back to haunt me. I trust that Nico will be there for me. I trust that Nico will love me.

I can live through this because I am loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I've been having major creativity block. It's been hard to have the motivation to do anything, much less writing. I've been feeling really bad about not writing another fic when I mentioned at the end of my last fic that i might write a sequel and then never did. It just got so hard to sit down and write and got even harder the more I procrastinated writing. I was inspired to give writing a try again after watching the clock run out on Unus Annus. I was there for the entire year. From first video to last, I watched everyday. I was inspired and entertained everyday. It was my daily does of chaos to keep the depression at bay. Whenever I felt numb and stuck in my own void of sadness, Unus Annus was there for me for a whole year to make me simile. They made me laugh when I thought I lost the ability to. I cannot explain how much they inspire me. They are true artist and I will cherish the memories of Unus Annus for the rest of my life. 
> 
> "Don't cry because it's over, cry because it happened"  
> Momento Mori,  
> Unus Annus.


End file.
